- Though Johnny and I had our first date on December 15th of last year, most of our relationship happened this year. He has changed my life for the better, and I couldn't be happier. Also, we did the adult thing on January 1st so...um...yeah. Hi. *Tries not to say we brought the New Year in with a bang. Or 5.*
- I met Johnny's daughter, Ariel, in February, I think. She was two years old at the time and is now three and a half. I love her to death.
- Johnny got me a gym membership again and it's a lot of fun to go workout with my love.
- Johnny took his first ever dance class! Actually, he took modern and ballroom in the Spring. He wanted to get into some of the things I'm into and he had never been onstage before. At the end of Spring, my hopeless dance partner for the chacha just couldn't get it and kept dropping me so I taught Johnny the dance and, though he was nervous as hell, he did it! I'm so proud of him. He ended up taking Dance Production and Tap 1 in the fall and did marvelously.
- February 15th, I auditioned for and was hired as a ballet instructor at a local dance studio. I teach Intermediate Ballet there.
- In October, I think, a friend of mine that was working at the dance studio quit and gave me her class. She wanted someone who had good technique to take over (awesome compliment) so she gave me her Littles (5 to 8 year olds). I am so glad it happened, though I feel bad that she quit. I do love those kids.
- I choreographed my first numbers! I hadn't choreographed a whole song before and now I have, and I have found that I really love it. I started a number (Step In Time) in the summer but had to switch gears to prepare for the Christmas show, so never finished it. Now I have choreographed a Littles dance to Christmas, Don't Be Late, and choreographed to Hello for my older class. I got to come up with costumes, which was difficult at first, but once I narrowed the Hello costume down, it all fell into place. The other costume was harder, because since they were dancing to the Chipmunks, something classical looking wouldn't fit. But as it was a Christmas show, neon colors didn't work. I ended up making them costumes that made them look like candy canes. Too cute.
- Backing up a little, I got to do my first partner dance in the Spring. The Chacha. Because I'm not thin, I usually get looked over when it comes to partner dances, since the girls usually have to be lifted. There was only one lift in this one, at the end, and Johnny did a great job with it. It's not all about weight. If you use your core, weight can be overlooked. If you don't hold your core, then even if you're thin, the guy has to work a lot harder and it can look sloppy.
- Back to fall. I got into my first small number dance in the hard Dance Production class. We did a beautiful lyrical dance to The Only Exception. Only nine women made it into the number. It was originally six. Three of the girls partner for the second half, but the instructor let three more girls in so that more got the chance to do it. It's one of the most beautiful dances I've ever done, and also one of the most technical and difficult, which was the reason for auditions.
- I got another lead in a number! I've had one other lead before, as the devil in the Danse Macabre number in 2012. This time, I was Elsa in the Frozen number! It was a lot of fun, though frustrating at times. The instructor kept changing the choreography as we learned it. She would teach us (Anna and Elsa) a section one Friday, only to change the whole thing the next Friday. It made it difficult to remember, and I usually remember choreography easily. In all, I'm really glad it happened. That, and Ariel's reaction to it was so adorable. From what I was told, when I come out onstage (to Let It Go), she gasped and said "Reeka is Frozen??" She has been calling me Reeka since she couldn't pronounce Erika when we met. IF she tries now, it's Eggika. So cute.
- I live with Johnny and while it's not always perfect, I still love it. He puts me in check and lets me know when I'm being ridiculous. lol. Sometimes I really need that.
- I have had my first dance concert as a teacher. I have gone over parts already and still need to write a blog just on the show, but it's something I will never forget.
- I have babysat my nephew quite a few times and I love that. I love him so much. He's already got so much personality and I love seeing how much he's changed just over a couple of weeks. The other day, on Christmas, he grabbed a phone and put it the wrong way to his ear and if someone said "Ring ring, ring ring!" He'd say "Ho?" ahahaha. Can't quite say "Hello?" but it's cuter this way anyways.
I'll add more things as I think of them but just typing these up has made me smile. It really has been a great year.
Saturday, December 27, 2014
2014
Though this year, like every year before it, had rough patches and bouts with depression, it was definitely one of the best I've ever had. I thought I would make a list with all of the accomplishments and awesome things I've had happen over the course of 2014. I want to do this every year, maybe making a blog for the year and adding as awesome things happen.
Wednesday, December 17, 2014
Class Number Struggles
It's proving to be very difficult to keep consistency with students at this studio. I started out with my Intermediate Ballet class, which I should possibly just call Ballet since I end up with beginners or students of all levels. I really don't mind at all. I do like the complexity of more difficult choreography and barre work, but I also love seeing a student who has never taken dance (or not since they were little) grow and grow.
I started my first class by just teaching my boyfriend, J. As I said in my previous post, he partially took my class so I could figure out how to fit everything into just an hour. The next week, I had a girl come in and take it on a whim and loved it so much that she signed up for the month. Jean kept coming, so that was great. I think I may have just had her for a few weeks. Then a friend came and brought her twin sister and their friend. I'd danced with all three in ballet classes before. T was with me for months, as was Jean. Then another of T's friends came and she was there for months as well. T was most advanced and en pointe. Jean and T's friend, Jenn, were both basically beginners. Neither had ever danced so it was interesting trying to manager the different skill levels. T and Jenn were adults and Jean was 16. It was mostly kept at a more basic level but some of the steps in the dance were more advanced (saut de basques, tour jetes, beat jumps, etc).
So anyways, first Jean dropped off because she got a summer job. I was bummed out because she was my first beginner to teach and I was thoroughly enjoying watching her progress from week to week. Then I had to switch the class time to two hours earlier and I never saw Jenn again. Then around a month or two later, I lost T as she was transferring to a university over an hour away. I had no students for around a month and then a 20 year old I was in a musical (Hairspray) with in 2011 messaged me about wanting to take my class. She hadn't danced since she was 6 so she's basically a beginner. I am loving teaching her. She takes corrections well, is super quick with learning the terminology, and has passion and drive. I just need more like her! I heard I should be getting a 12 year old who is moving up because of the age group so I'm happy for that. My next dance requires at least 4 so I hope to get that...at the very least!
Now on to the Littles! When I got the class handed down to me, there were two students - Lydia and Dalia. Lydia is seven and Dalia is six. My first day teaching, Lydia was absent but I had little Dalia. She was so cute and sweet! She had good focus and good technique/knowledge of the steps for her age. There was a three year old that dropped in that day to try it (even though it wasn't her age group) and we played games that I combined with ballet steps and they seemed to have a blast.
Lydia is a little firecracker. She knows the technique and picks up everything quickly but she is always trying to test me. She'll start out doing rond de jambes right and then when she thinks I'm not looking, will just kinda move her leg a little and squint at me with a little mischievous smile on her face. She keeps me on my toes (ha), for sure.
I have since gotten two more students. Lilly is seven and though I have a difficult time keeping her attention sometimes, has passion for ballet that astounds me. I put on some music and she immediately recognized it as being from The Nutcracker. The same happened with music from Swan Lake. That makes me happy since she's so little. Her grandma also tells me that Lilly gets up at 5:30 in the morning every day, puts on her classical music, and practices barre and stretching, and so on. Good kid, that one.
Samantha, I fear, has come and gone. She was five and transferred from another class into mine but I haven't seen her in three weeks now, so I don't think she's returning. It's so frustrating. And I haven't seen her or Dalia since the class before Thanksgiving.
I choreographed a little dance to Christmas, Don't Be Late when I had three students, because there are three Chipmunks and had them all (in turn) doing a soutenu turn when each Chipmunk name was spoken. "Simon" - Lydia, "Theodore" - Dalia, "Alvin...ALvin...ALVIN!" - Lilly (on the first mention). When Samantha came to us, I just had her between Dalia and Lilly so timing-wise, it still worked out. Now that I'm down to two, there is too much time. I told them to do two soutenu turns now but it still doesn't quite work, but we will have to deal with that since the show is Monday.
I have lots of flyers and now that this show is about to come and go, I can get back to plastering any place I can think of with them. I have held off for the last month or so because it would be too little time for someone to learn the respective dances. So I'm crossing my fingers that I pick up more students! I want to keep my classes. I absolutely love what I'm doing.
I started my first class by just teaching my boyfriend, J. As I said in my previous post, he partially took my class so I could figure out how to fit everything into just an hour. The next week, I had a girl come in and take it on a whim and loved it so much that she signed up for the month. Jean kept coming, so that was great. I think I may have just had her for a few weeks. Then a friend came and brought her twin sister and their friend. I'd danced with all three in ballet classes before. T was with me for months, as was Jean. Then another of T's friends came and she was there for months as well. T was most advanced and en pointe. Jean and T's friend, Jenn, were both basically beginners. Neither had ever danced so it was interesting trying to manager the different skill levels. T and Jenn were adults and Jean was 16. It was mostly kept at a more basic level but some of the steps in the dance were more advanced (saut de basques, tour jetes, beat jumps, etc).
So anyways, first Jean dropped off because she got a summer job. I was bummed out because she was my first beginner to teach and I was thoroughly enjoying watching her progress from week to week. Then I had to switch the class time to two hours earlier and I never saw Jenn again. Then around a month or two later, I lost T as she was transferring to a university over an hour away. I had no students for around a month and then a 20 year old I was in a musical (Hairspray) with in 2011 messaged me about wanting to take my class. She hadn't danced since she was 6 so she's basically a beginner. I am loving teaching her. She takes corrections well, is super quick with learning the terminology, and has passion and drive. I just need more like her! I heard I should be getting a 12 year old who is moving up because of the age group so I'm happy for that. My next dance requires at least 4 so I hope to get that...at the very least!
Now on to the Littles! When I got the class handed down to me, there were two students - Lydia and Dalia. Lydia is seven and Dalia is six. My first day teaching, Lydia was absent but I had little Dalia. She was so cute and sweet! She had good focus and good technique/knowledge of the steps for her age. There was a three year old that dropped in that day to try it (even though it wasn't her age group) and we played games that I combined with ballet steps and they seemed to have a blast.
Lydia is a little firecracker. She knows the technique and picks up everything quickly but she is always trying to test me. She'll start out doing rond de jambes right and then when she thinks I'm not looking, will just kinda move her leg a little and squint at me with a little mischievous smile on her face. She keeps me on my toes (ha), for sure.
I have since gotten two more students. Lilly is seven and though I have a difficult time keeping her attention sometimes, has passion for ballet that astounds me. I put on some music and she immediately recognized it as being from The Nutcracker. The same happened with music from Swan Lake. That makes me happy since she's so little. Her grandma also tells me that Lilly gets up at 5:30 in the morning every day, puts on her classical music, and practices barre and stretching, and so on. Good kid, that one.
Samantha, I fear, has come and gone. She was five and transferred from another class into mine but I haven't seen her in three weeks now, so I don't think she's returning. It's so frustrating. And I haven't seen her or Dalia since the class before Thanksgiving.
I choreographed a little dance to Christmas, Don't Be Late when I had three students, because there are three Chipmunks and had them all (in turn) doing a soutenu turn when each Chipmunk name was spoken. "Simon" - Lydia, "Theodore" - Dalia, "Alvin...ALvin...ALVIN!" - Lilly (on the first mention). When Samantha came to us, I just had her between Dalia and Lilly so timing-wise, it still worked out. Now that I'm down to two, there is too much time. I told them to do two soutenu turns now but it still doesn't quite work, but we will have to deal with that since the show is Monday.
I have lots of flyers and now that this show is about to come and go, I can get back to plastering any place I can think of with them. I have held off for the last month or so because it would be too little time for someone to learn the respective dances. So I'm crossing my fingers that I pick up more students! I want to keep my classes. I absolutely love what I'm doing.
Littles, Biggies, dance in general
So, it's been quite some time since I've written (bad Erika!). Life has been pretty crazy hectic so blogging has been put on the back burner. I really need to make it more consistent.
I begun working at a dance studio in February. Or, rather, I was hired in February, but began actually teaching in March. I started out teaching Intermediate Ballet for ages 12 and up (adults included). My first class was just my boyfriend. He signed up to take a class partially so that I can figure out how to cram everything -- warm-up, barre, across the floor, center -- into just an hour. I'm used to taking hour and a half long technique classes. Also, he wanted to take ballet. It took a few classes for me to iron out how to manager just an hour, but eventually I got it.
I ended up, at one point, having three full-time students. By full-time, I mean that they paid for the month and got four classes, one class a week. My first dance was to Step In Time from Mary Poppins. It was okay, but I was starting out with choreographing my own dance and that song was familiar to me. I never finished the choreography because my students ended up dropping due to work and the class time changing, which was a real bummer.
A friend of mine was teaching a Littles ballet class (ages 5-8) and after a couple of months, ended up quitting and giving her class to me because she likes my experience and level of technique. So that's really awesome because now I have two classes and the kids really are darling--most of the time. Ha. That age range is a little tough.
We currently are at the end of rehearsing for our upcoming show that's December 22nd, so I've got two pieces in that show. It's so exciting! I absolutely love choreographing so it's very exciting that my choreography that I've worked hard on and ended up totally loving is going to be seen by tons of people! My Littles are doing a dance to Christmas, Don't Be Late--that Chipmunks song--and they have so much fun doing it and look ADORABLE. My sole older student and I are doing a duet to Hello by Evanescence. This one took the most work, as I really didn't want any repeat sections and wanted to pour some emotion into it, therefore making it slightly lyrical. But it's my class and my choreography so I was able to take creative liberties. I'm very excited for this show.
I begun working at a dance studio in February. Or, rather, I was hired in February, but began actually teaching in March. I started out teaching Intermediate Ballet for ages 12 and up (adults included). My first class was just my boyfriend. He signed up to take a class partially so that I can figure out how to cram everything -- warm-up, barre, across the floor, center -- into just an hour. I'm used to taking hour and a half long technique classes. Also, he wanted to take ballet. It took a few classes for me to iron out how to manager just an hour, but eventually I got it.
I ended up, at one point, having three full-time students. By full-time, I mean that they paid for the month and got four classes, one class a week. My first dance was to Step In Time from Mary Poppins. It was okay, but I was starting out with choreographing my own dance and that song was familiar to me. I never finished the choreography because my students ended up dropping due to work and the class time changing, which was a real bummer.
A friend of mine was teaching a Littles ballet class (ages 5-8) and after a couple of months, ended up quitting and giving her class to me because she likes my experience and level of technique. So that's really awesome because now I have two classes and the kids really are darling--most of the time. Ha. That age range is a little tough.
We currently are at the end of rehearsing for our upcoming show that's December 22nd, so I've got two pieces in that show. It's so exciting! I absolutely love choreographing so it's very exciting that my choreography that I've worked hard on and ended up totally loving is going to be seen by tons of people! My Littles are doing a dance to Christmas, Don't Be Late--that Chipmunks song--and they have so much fun doing it and look ADORABLE. My sole older student and I are doing a duet to Hello by Evanescence. This one took the most work, as I really didn't want any repeat sections and wanted to pour some emotion into it, therefore making it slightly lyrical. But it's my class and my choreography so I was able to take creative liberties. I'm very excited for this show.
Tuesday, October 28, 2014
100 Things
100 Things
(got this from CorpGoth)
* the ones you'd like to
1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars*
3. Played in a band*
4. Visited Hawaii *
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity*
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo -- soooo many times! :)
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris*
13. Watched a lightning storm
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child*
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty*
18. Grown your own vegetables*
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France*
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a marathon*
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice*
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors*
35. Seen an Amish community*
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied*
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person*
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo's David*
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant*
44. Visited Africa*
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted*
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person*
50. Gone to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris*
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China*
57. Started a business*
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia*
60. Served at a soup kitchen*
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got/gave flowers for no reason*
64. Donated blood, platelets, or plasma*
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi concentration camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten caviar
72. Pieced a quilt*
73. Stood in Times Square*
74. Toured the Everglades*
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person*
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car*
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Read an entire book in one day
Monday, September 1, 2014
You are having a dinner party.Which 10 famous people would be on your guest list?
Decided to try to follow through with this list of writing prompts for September.
You are having a dinner party.Which 10 famous people would be on your guest list?
(I'm assuming all of the invited would be living celebrities.)
1. Amanda Palmer
Of course I feel the need to put AFP first. She's beautiful, witty, artistic to the core, and never strays from being her true self. She would bring lots of sexy to the party and there would not be a dull moment.
2. Jennifer Lawrence
You are having a dinner party.Which 10 famous people would be on your guest list?(I'm assuming all of the invited would be living celebrities.)
1. Amanda Palmer
Of course I feel the need to put AFP first. She's beautiful, witty, artistic to the core, and never strays from being her true self. She would bring lots of sexy to the party and there would not be a dull moment.
2. Jennifer Lawrence
JLaw does her thing, and doesn't give a shit what people think (or so it appears. She's also super adorable. So there's that. And I'd have someone to make awkward faces with so there would be the most awesome selfies ever.
3. Kat Dennings
While I don't know exactly how she is in real life, I just love her character Max on 2 Broke Girls. I do, however, know that she is totally gorgeous, sexy, and still has that mischievous smirk sometimes when she smiles. Plus, um...reasons.
I mean can you imagine a table with Amanda Palmer, Jennifer Lawrence, AND Kat Dennings? I think the room would just implode from all the awesome.
While I don't know exactly how she is in real life, I just love her character Max on 2 Broke Girls. I do, however, know that she is totally gorgeous, sexy, and still has that mischievous smirk sometimes when she smiles. Plus, um...reasons.
I mean can you imagine a table with Amanda Palmer, Jennifer Lawrence, AND Kat Dennings? I think the room would just implode from all the awesome.
Okay, so maybe I'm just going to stop here. I honestly can't think of a more perfect mix. I wouldn't be able to take my eyes or ears off these three so what's to add? Now, please excuse me while I try to find a magic lamp so I can make this happen.
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
Saturday, January 11, 2014
Second
Hands running over mine
Lips so soft
I should be happy
but I'm always lost
Time flies quickly
as we're having fun
Going home late and
just feeling numb
Merry go rounds
make me so dizzy
I have your heart
but she has the key
but forever I'll follow you
forever I'll chase
Even knowing I'll always
only be second place.
Lips so soft
I should be happy
but I'm always lost
Time flies quickly
as we're having fun
Going home late and
just feeling numb
Merry go rounds
make me so dizzy
I have your heart
but she has the key
but forever I'll follow you
forever I'll chase
Even knowing I'll always
only be second place.
Rambling
Happy. Elated.
Fitting together like coffee and creamer.
Known forever but learning like new.
Mending, blending.
I fix you, you fix me.
Scared that I won't be enough.
Not fully healed yet.
Breaking again means no fixing.
Happy, scared, terrified.
Mix of feelings.
Words just aren't enough.
I've fallen and I'm too far gone.
I want to be better.
For you, for me.
Fitting together like coffee and creamer.
Known forever but learning like new.
Mending, blending.
I fix you, you fix me.
Scared that I won't be enough.
Not fully healed yet.
Breaking again means no fixing.
Happy, scared, terrified.
Mix of feelings.
Words just aren't enough.
I've fallen and I'm too far gone.
I want to be better.
For you, for me.
Ugly Cygnet
Smooth floor, bare thoughts
I'm dancing across the floor
Never needing more
All my worries go out the door
Meeting all the wrong
People at the barre
Ready to watch me fall
Though I can only give my all
Whispers taunting
Grabbing at my back
Trying to attack
Watch the porcelain crack
Screaming shouting
Falling to the ground
Eyes are growing round
I'll give you your crown
This swan princess
Wasn't meant to be a queen
Good job for being mean
You've just killed my only dream
I'm dancing across the floor
Never needing more
All my worries go out the door
Meeting all the wrong
People at the barre
Ready to watch me fall
Though I can only give my all
Whispers taunting
Grabbing at my back
Trying to attack
Watch the porcelain crack
Screaming shouting
Falling to the ground
Eyes are growing round
I'll give you your crown
This swan princess
Wasn't meant to be a queen
Good job for being mean
You've just killed my only dream
Friday, January 10, 2014
Breakups, Falling Apart, New Love pt.2
Because I lost my job, we lost our home. My friend Johnny offered to help us move and I ended up taking him up on it because we had such a time constraint. And he's cute. And maybe I'd liked him for a really long time, those those feelings were on the DL for several years. He helped us move and was such a hero...we would not have finished on time if he hadn't helped. And I would have gotten that giant Uhaul stuck getting out of the storage place. We had a couple of moments that night. One was when we parked the Uhaul by Andy's mom's place. We were waiting for Andy to come back and standing behind the Uhaul and this night had the most amazing shooting start. I still swear it was like a sign or something. We were looking at the stars together and ...I dunno. It was just amazing. Then Johnny told Andy we could park the truck in front of the house and offered to drive it and I said I'd ride along and since there were weeds on the other side of the truck, Johnny said I should scoot across the seat and I heard him say "Thank you, weeds" under his breath as I climbed into the truck. He didn't know I heard that. haha. When we were carrying boxes from the truck to the garage, I noticed he kept "letting" me walk in front of him. He didn't know I'd noticed that too, so he could check out my ass. hahaha. So funny. After we were done and back at the house, he asked if I wanted to go grab a coffee real quick since I'd be up all night. I took him up on it just to be able to see him longer. We're both kinda shy but he was asking what was on my mind and I kept feeling my face get hot because he's so cute and just ahhhhh.
December 18, 2013
We chatted online for the next couple of days or so and then he asked me out on a date to the movies. He said it was just as friends so no pressure He took me to see Frozen and it was my first 3D movie. Throughout the whole thing, I kept scooting my hand closer and noticed his had moved closer too. At the end, our hands were SO close but still, he hadn't made a grab so I thought maybe I'd misinterpreted signals or something. lol.
After the movie (which is amazing), he said he didn't want to go home yet so he asked if I wanted to go to the hookah lounge. We went to Rippin Hookah Lounge. We sat and talked and smoked for hours. We had such a good time. We also kept making each other blush all night. We both blush easily and we're both shy so...yeah. We ended up moving to another couch and it was sunken in so I was practically in his lap, which neither of us minded. I kept hoping he'd kiss me but again, nope. But at one point, he grabbed my hand and my heart was seriously racing. His touch was sending shivers through my body. He later said my touch was electrifying so at least we were on the same page.
After hookah, he asked if I wanted to watch a movie or something so we headed to his house. When we got in, I was really nervous. I mean...yeah. So we went in to his room and he asked me to pick out a movie and I hadn't seen Oz so we watched that. Kind of. We started out sitting side by side but then he st back against the wall and had me sit back against him (back to front) and I'd been complaining online of my shoulders hurting so he messaged them. Then he kissed my neck. Then turned my face and we shared the most perfect kiss ever. Then...well, some stuff happened. Not THAT, but things. Yeah. I'm not posting that. lol.
I still don't know how that movie ends.
December 18, 2013
We chatted online for the next couple of days or so and then he asked me out on a date to the movies. He said it was just as friends so no pressure He took me to see Frozen and it was my first 3D movie. Throughout the whole thing, I kept scooting my hand closer and noticed his had moved closer too. At the end, our hands were SO close but still, he hadn't made a grab so I thought maybe I'd misinterpreted signals or something. lol.
After the movie (which is amazing), he said he didn't want to go home yet so he asked if I wanted to go to the hookah lounge. We went to Rippin Hookah Lounge. We sat and talked and smoked for hours. We had such a good time. We also kept making each other blush all night. We both blush easily and we're both shy so...yeah. We ended up moving to another couch and it was sunken in so I was practically in his lap, which neither of us minded. I kept hoping he'd kiss me but again, nope. But at one point, he grabbed my hand and my heart was seriously racing. His touch was sending shivers through my body. He later said my touch was electrifying so at least we were on the same page.
After hookah, he asked if I wanted to watch a movie or something so we headed to his house. When we got in, I was really nervous. I mean...yeah. So we went in to his room and he asked me to pick out a movie and I hadn't seen Oz so we watched that. Kind of. We started out sitting side by side but then he st back against the wall and had me sit back against him (back to front) and I'd been complaining online of my shoulders hurting so he messaged them. Then he kissed my neck. Then turned my face and we shared the most perfect kiss ever. Then...well, some stuff happened. Not THAT, but things. Yeah. I'm not posting that. lol.
I still don't know how that movie ends.
Breakups, Falling Apart, New Love
First of all, I really need to stay up top of this blogging thing. I suck at it. 2013 was a fucking roller coaster. I got engaged, worked a lot, rented a beautiful home, danced as much as possible and tried to just enjoy life. Last summer, everything kind of fell apart. I lost my engagement ring and felt awful about it. I always kept it in my wallet while working since I worked in the deli and wasn't allowed to wear it in there. One day, I went to put it back on and it was gone.
October 30th, I lost my job. The reason was because a rack of bread was thrown away because it was overproofed and got blamed on me, as I was the sandwich maker ("Sandwich Bitch") that day. I came in at 6am, broke out the bread, slid it into the cooler and it's supposed to stay in there for several hours. Merna, my lovely new manager, came in at 7, slid the rack out to get into the cooler so she could stock and bitched that the rack should have come out (to thaw) when I came in that morning. I explained I had JUST broken it out. She said "Oh, okay" and then went on with what she was doing and I went into my room to spend my day making sandwiches. When I was being terminated, I was told the rack was left out, overproofed, and therefore, had to be thrown away. So, Merna let the blame fall on me. Nice. Bitch. I explained all of this but they didn't care. Fuck Smiley's. Yes, I'm still going with the fake name. Just in case.
I hid this from my family for a month.
The day after Thanksgiving, Andy and I broke up. He'd been distant for months and I had no idea why. I thought maybe he'd proposed out of...I dunno...guilt? Because he felt he might as well because we'd been together 8 years? No idea. That day, he had slammed the car door in my face and said something, making it obvious the relationship was in major jeopardy. I freaked out. Since nobody really reads this thing, I feel I can say this. I didn't handle it well. Having been suffering from depression for years, I just fell apart once again. I dealt with it the way I knew how at first, by hurting myself. I swear it helps me a little. It's my way of dealing. It gives me relief. I can't explain it. Anyways, I had done that and found pills and was going to end it once and for all, and not get caught too early this time, since Andy would still be at work for hours. I texted him that he could have everything...so nobody could go in *ahem* and just start claiming everything. Andy is a fair, good person, and would do the right thing. He told me to pick him up and I said no. He came home right as I was about to take them. I had made a second way just in case the first didn't work. He ran home from work and so I failed again. My dad also showed up, as Andy had texted him. Andy had cleaned me up and I cried and cried to my adoptive dad for like an hour. I told him that I screwed up with Andy and lost my job. I am worthless and fuck everything up. For the first time ever, I felt like my adoptive dad loved me. After he left, Andy and I talked and decided to break up. I didn't know it would be permanent but I needed to figure things out. Turns out, he'd been distant because he didn't see my ring and thought it meant something. Go figure. I fucked that up too.
To be continued...
October 30th, I lost my job. The reason was because a rack of bread was thrown away because it was overproofed and got blamed on me, as I was the sandwich maker ("Sandwich Bitch") that day. I came in at 6am, broke out the bread, slid it into the cooler and it's supposed to stay in there for several hours. Merna, my lovely new manager, came in at 7, slid the rack out to get into the cooler so she could stock and bitched that the rack should have come out (to thaw) when I came in that morning. I explained I had JUST broken it out. She said "Oh, okay" and then went on with what she was doing and I went into my room to spend my day making sandwiches. When I was being terminated, I was told the rack was left out, overproofed, and therefore, had to be thrown away. So, Merna let the blame fall on me. Nice. Bitch. I explained all of this but they didn't care. Fuck Smiley's. Yes, I'm still going with the fake name. Just in case.
I hid this from my family for a month.
The day after Thanksgiving, Andy and I broke up. He'd been distant for months and I had no idea why. I thought maybe he'd proposed out of...I dunno...guilt? Because he felt he might as well because we'd been together 8 years? No idea. That day, he had slammed the car door in my face and said something, making it obvious the relationship was in major jeopardy. I freaked out. Since nobody really reads this thing, I feel I can say this. I didn't handle it well. Having been suffering from depression for years, I just fell apart once again. I dealt with it the way I knew how at first, by hurting myself. I swear it helps me a little. It's my way of dealing. It gives me relief. I can't explain it. Anyways, I had done that and found pills and was going to end it once and for all, and not get caught too early this time, since Andy would still be at work for hours. I texted him that he could have everything...so nobody could go in *ahem* and just start claiming everything. Andy is a fair, good person, and would do the right thing. He told me to pick him up and I said no. He came home right as I was about to take them. I had made a second way just in case the first didn't work. He ran home from work and so I failed again. My dad also showed up, as Andy had texted him. Andy had cleaned me up and I cried and cried to my adoptive dad for like an hour. I told him that I screwed up with Andy and lost my job. I am worthless and fuck everything up. For the first time ever, I felt like my adoptive dad loved me. After he left, Andy and I talked and decided to break up. I didn't know it would be permanent but I needed to figure things out. Turns out, he'd been distant because he didn't see my ring and thought it meant something. Go figure. I fucked that up too.
To be continued...
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