I'm a little bit frustrated right now. I feel like I'm stuck. Stuck here and it's hard to save to fix it. I don't know if Smiley's will be keeping me permanently. I really hope so. I love working there and it's the perfect fit for me but so far, I just don't know what their plans are for me. If they even have plans to keep me. *crossing my fingers though*

     Every day off I have, I try to get shit done. I usually end up doing a lot of cleaning. And I don't mean a little bit of picking up either. I mean scrubbing the sinks, washing the decor around the sinks, laundry, trash, dusting, scrubbing the whole bathroom down and of my fucking god, MEN'S HAIR. I swear, every time that man shaves, he says he cleans up afterwards, but he somehow misses all of the little hairs around the faucet and it drives me crazy. He wets his hand and just brushes it all down the drain. But he doesn't see me in there scrubbing and washing all the little nooks and crannies between the faucet knobs and cleaning off the fixtures. His hair gets everywhere. Would it be too much for him just to leave it how I left it? Jesus. 

     Also, I love him but he's driving me crazy lately. I feel like he's given up on me. And it sucks.  I'd fucking love some ring to show some sort of commitment. I know we're together for the long haul but he cops out. I'm getting sick of him not showing some sort of signs that he wants to marry me some day. My sister's pregnant and he shows NO emotion of having a niece or nephew. He ignores the fact. Maybe even seems unhappy about it. I would love to get married and have babies but I need him to want that too. I NEED IT. I mean FUCK we've been together for almost 8 years now. Grow the fuck up already. I'm tired of acting like I don't care. I have feelings, goddammit. The bag thing was only a small piece of how I feel I'm not quite getting back what I'm giving. I'm sick of this shit. That's not saying, in the slightest, that I'm sick of him. I love him with everything I am. So this hurts. It really fucking hurts.
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EDIT: So, it's months later now and I must have been having a really bad day or something. ^^
Just...wow. 

So...I work at Smiley's now. It's a big store with a lot of people working there and I really enjoy working there. I know it sounds like I'm getting paid to say that but it's not the case. Trust.

I woke up today in a pretty good mood. I just wanted to cuddle but I was super happy. I cuddled Penguin for a minute then got out of bed to get ready for Smiley's. I've been sick with a horrid cold from hell for over a week and a half now so the first thing I did was take some Alka Seltzer for cold and flu then got my makeup on and as I was getting dressed, I was starting to feel sick to my stomach. I went to meet Penguin downstairs and had to run to the downstairs bathroom and throw up. Not the business.

I dropped Penguin off at the mall and headed to my work. I only had 4 hours today and as it's now post-holidays, it's pretty slow in the mornings. The first half of my shift went pretty slowly but it picked up towards my first break. At one point, a supervisor came up to me and asked me a quiz question. I'd never heard the term used in that way before so it threw me off. I didn't know the thing in question had a specific name so when she asked what it was, I said "What's that?" and she was like "REALLY??" I felt pretty stupid. I was pretty sure I knew what it was but didn't want to say the wrong thing. She said she'd come back to me but she never did. DAMN. I hope she asks again on Saturday because I don't want that keeping me from being kept on as permanent. I love it there. I've been working really hard and I definitely give my job 110%.